It's crazy hard to believe but-- tomorrow is my due date! Right now it doesn't look like this little one will be checking out of the Womb Inn on schedule. She is still really active, even more than usual these last couple of days. But I'm not in any kind of hurry to evict her (or him) either. I still like being pregnant. I feel kind of sad that this pregnancy is coming to a close.
I'm still pretty comfortable sharing this body with my baby although I am experiencing some mild aches and pains these days. Like, my feet hurt sometimes. Usually if I try standing on them for any length of time. And my upper right back aches now and again. It seems to be the worst when I sleep. And my pelvic floor is starting to feel a little sore. I feel that one when I've been walking.
But none of these little pains really bother me much. J rubs my feet pretty often and I kind of like having an excuse to stay off of them. There are positions that I can lie in that do not make my back ache, the trick is in finding them. And I know that the soreness in my pelvic floor is just my baby's head ripening my cervix and that's cool with me.
Speaking of my cervix, one of the differences between midwifery care and mainstream obstetric care is the use of internal exams. Most midwives don't routinely perform pelvic exams. I was encouraged early on to become familiar with the feel of my cervix and my internal landscape in general if I were interested in tracking my effacement and dilation. Alas, I did not.
I mean, I know what my cervix feels like, and where it can generally be found. Under normal circumstances. Yet, the other day curiosity prompted me to do a little checking on its current status and I found that everything has changed. It is like a whole 'nother world down there now. The landscape has become utterly foreign and far from being able to gauge my readiness for labor, I now cannot even find the damn thing!
Ah well, all those tests are of dubious value anyway. Instead I have decided to view this as a golden opportunity to practice acceptance. Taking things as they are. Allowing events to unfold in their own time. No anxiety, no judgment. And, to be honest, it feels really good.
I have been feeling wonderfully calm and content. I feel ready for the adventure of labor and birth, when it comes. And I am truly starting to feel excited about meeting our baby. Holding her in my arms. Dressing her in the adorable baby clothes and cute cute diapers that have been gently washed and folded neatly in the nursery.
I still have a short list of things I'd like to get done before she makes her grand entrance, but nothing seems urgent. I do a little bit every day, but break up my work on these various projects with long naps and baths, slow walks with Lena, pampering myself with creams and oils, preparing interesting new recipes, meditation and gentle yoga. Life is grand these days.
Today I made up our call list for labor and birth notifications. Hopefully this will put at ease some friends and relatives who seem somewhat worried that we might have the baby and forget to tell them... So, to all those dear friends and family on this list, rest assured, we will let you know when the baby comes! Please note that we are requesting that most of our direct notifications take on the task of making some secondary notifications for us. Please let me know if this doesn't work for any of you for any reason...
Beverly --> Curtis
John & Susan -->Homer & Enid
Erin & Adam -->Jon & Robin
-->Malik & Tanya
Ericka & Alfie -->Ted & Rita
-->Kareem & Shameca
Kate & Dan -->Dave
Becky & H -->Greg & Allison
Shontay & Vinnie
Rob & Shannon
Mike & Rose